Kris Kringle, d.b.a.
Santa Claus, recently got the green light from the U.S. Department of Transportation
to engage in air travel to various points throughout the United States the
night of Dec. 24. An order granting a flight certificate and signed by Transportation
Secretary Norman Mineta said that Santa Claus was "exceptionally fit,
joyfully willing and uniquely able to engage in the interstate air transportation
for which he has requested a certificate."
Mineta added that Santa
has a 100 percent on-time arrival record, having never failed to deliver all
of his toys by Christmas morning. In his application, Santa described himself
as a citizen of the world residing at the North Pole who performs a vital
and specialized transportation service. "The points to be served are
the dwelling places of good girls and boys, as well as adults of goodwill,
throughout the United States," Claus said in his application.
The applicant notes
that his operating proposal will meet the air service requirements of countless
small communities, and also will serve the major transportation hubs in all
regions. Santa Claus also told DOT that his sleigh will be powered by eight
tiny reindeer, with the addition of a possible ninth reindeer with a special
air navigation warning light in its nose, in the event of fog or heavy snow.
Finally, the applicant,
aware of the department's heightened security concerns, states that he has
personally packed all his bags and has kept them in his sight for months.
He also vouches for his trusted elves, who lovingly prepared the contents
and carefully handled the packing as they have done for centuries without
incident. The department said that no one has opposed the application, and
Mr. Claus disclosed several million letters of support from children everywhere.
"In these circumstances, it appears that a grant of the applicant's request
is in the highest public interest," the department said.